Anything that brings Twitter, Icarus-like, back down to earth with a thump is fine by me. MT readers will know I am no fan, Twitter is mindless twaddle IMHO - as they like to put it  online – and will pass as sure as night follows day, in the footsteps of the likes of boo.com to the oblivion it deserves.

The latest piece of ack ack that threatens to punch a hole in Twitters feathery fuselage comes from an unlikely source – a teenage intern at Morgan Stanley’s European Media Analysis Unit. Rather than being put in a corner with a Kit Kat and a company brochure for a week, the youth in question, Matthew Robson, was actually asked to write down a few ideas about his ideas on the current state of the media.

What he turned out has caused a minor sensation in the generally sensation-free world of investment bank media analysis and they published it. (No doubt after it had been through the spell-checker four times.)  One of the clearest and most thought-provoking insights we have seen, mused Morgan Stanley’s Edward Hill-Wood. (Which kind of begs the question why these people don’t drag themselves away from their Bloomberg terminals for a couple of hours every now and then and actually go and ask kids what they like?)  

Twitter does not impress young Robson. ‘Teenagers do not use twitter,’ he wrote. ‘They realise that no one is viewing their profile, so their tweets are pointless.’ When you’re on a pricey pay-as-you-go option on your mobile it costs too much to update anyway. No, Twitter is, as we always suspected, for helpless PR and Marcoms-types short of an original idea to promote themselves and their clients.

But before anyone in old school media starts crowing…Just hang on a minute. It gets worse. Twitter may not be ideal for teenagers’ needs but the print medium is utterly redundant to them. Robson said he hardly knows anyone who reads a newspaper since his mates  ‘cannot be bothered to read pages and pages of text.’ They prefer light summaries. Neither do they have any time for advertising which they find little more than an irritation – ‘extremely annoying and pointless.’ 

So what do they like - besides laying around, emptying cans of foul-smelling deodorant over themselves  and splatting their spots into the bathroom mirror? Well, Robson reckons advert-free music on websites, cinema and concerts. Which is exactly why those money-hungry lizards at AEG thought they’d cattle-prod the recently late Michael Jackson to perform 50 times at the O2.

If my own observations of teenagers are worth anything one thing that does wildly amuse them is The InBetweeners, a truly profane but pretty funny online Channel 4 2009 version of 80s favourite Grange Hill. The first episode I watched made me laugh so much I almost tweeted about it. Not.

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