Will is learning quickly that Malawians may not always be reliable - but at least they're honest about it.

I had a typically Malawian experience last week when I was sending 600 magazines out with a local transport company. Emblazoned across the signs all over the site was the phrase: “here today, there tomorrow”.  And so, this being on a Wednesday afternoon, it was with confidence that I expected the magazines to be delivered on Thursday.

Confirming that my confidence was well placed, I asked the chap writing up the invoice when it would be delivered.

Blowing out his cheeks in a manner implying deep thought, he completed this exhalation and said: 'Should be there by Saturday, possibly.'

'Saturday?' I exclaimed, 'But what about that?' gesturing to the three-foot proclamation behind him.

'Oh,' he said in all seriousness. 'That’s just a sign.'

Now, while I don’t think it was completely unreasonable of me to infer from their motto that it was not beyond the realms of possibility that the firm offered next day delivery, it did get me thinking about the numerous mottos and company names that brighten up many a day.

Would you for example, want to learn to drive with the Afterlife Driving School? Indeed, religious connotations account for many of the great business names, 'If God Says Yes, Who Can Say No Grocery' must have been a great job for the sign writer. Also, I can confirm that the chips are not as tasty as the implied illustriousness of the Lord at the 'God is Great Chip Shop'.

Then there is the downright honest. I am sure that half of the company name is correct at a carpenters called 'Slow but Sure' and I am sure many are keen to meet the proprietor of the 'Stolen Kisses Fabulosity [sic]' jeweler. In addition, I have seen a couple of 'non-profit shops' on my travels, which I imagine to be more an analysis of the bottom line rather than the donation of profit.

However, the crown of the best motto must go to a bus that plies the road from Blantyre to Mzuzu. I say a bus. In fact it is a lorry that carries a container converted to a bus with all the comfort and efficiency that must come with such a method of transport.

But despite the limitations of such a conversion its motto is a work of art and one that, as it chugs off on the 18 hour journey to Blantyre, I have no doubt that all of its passengers will whole-heartedly agree with. For emblazoned across the back of the bus in huge capital letters is the motto: 'I feel like flying'.