To make up for my recent absence, I'm going to reveal to you The Secret of good meetings.

OK, OK, I'm back. After more than a month off blogging (well, I did do a rather controversial review of a book) it had better be good, I guess. My friend Jimmy used to draw a graph of time to write a thankyou letter to effort and impact of thankyou letter. If you've been to someone's dinner party, it's nice maybe to send a quick text on the way home. If it's the next day, an email. If you have left it a few days, a nice letter with a biro. A week, and it has to be fountain pen. A week and a bit, fountain pen with an interesting colour ink (maybe aubergine) written on Smythson paper and perhaps a poem about the evening.

So here it is. The equivalent of the aubergine ink and the parchment. And I am going to reveal to you THE SECRET. Forget the power to create your own world through visualisation. Imagine you have climbed to the top of a Tibetan mountain monastery and there inside the temple is a scroll next to some smoking incense. Written on the scroll is the SECRET. The one tip you will carry with you. It is, in my words, the ABC of Successful Meetings.

How did I discover this? This week Henry and I have been told that we are probably in pole position to win a site at one of London’s best shopping venues. It follows a meeting with the landlord who owns the area, where we applied the ABC of successful meetings. And it is all down to Henry.

The morning started with me on the phone to Henry (he normally cycles but today he was in a local cab from his house in Hackney) and he interrupted, saying 'Oh no, we have to turn round - I've forgotten the cake'. So we finished our call, and I didn’t speak or see him before we both pitched up, with Simon the Leon FD, at the landlord’s offices. There were two people from the landlord (one of the big, corporate-ish landlords) and as well as us three, we had Eric our property agent there too. Henry had been finalising our new cake range, made by Clare 'Cup cakes' (I am embarrassed to say we have always called her Clare Cup Cakes so I can’t tell you her surname) and had with him a big Chocolate Fantasy Cake. Chocolate, after my family and friends, is the most important thing (am I a girl, because I also like the smell of lavender? Though I like making love to my wife so it is six of one, half a dozen of the other). By happy coincidence, it was Eric’s birthday. Eric is very lean and has the sort of metabolism that allows him to eat constantly without having to offset it with an hour in Fitness First.
 
Now, Richard from the landlord also likes eating. So he, too, was very excited that there was a gateau to hand. In fact, Richard got into the whole thing. He found some candles ('So what if the sprinklers go off and we all have to evacuate the building?'). I was starting to enjoy our little rebellion. And does it make me bad that I was quite hoping the sprinklers were going to go off? And once lit, we all sang happy birthday, and Eric blew out the candles (blowing sideways to avoid spitting on the icing) and we tucked in. Now I shouldn’t really be eating wheat (I can show you the medical evidence if you think I am just being trendy!) so any break to this rule had  to be worth it. And, Clare Cup Cakes, it was.
 
So by the time we got down to the business part, we were a merry band of brothers (sorry to Sheila who runs the property company for not inviting you). and could have spent another thirty minutes, had we had the time, playing musical statues and pinning the tail on the donkey. After that, the business bit went really well: we agreed that we would like to work together, and agreed a timeframe for making our final decisions.

So there it is. The ABC of Successful meetings: Always Bring Cake.
 
You think I'm being flippant? You feel that the climb to the top of the mountain has not been worth it? All I say to you is try it. Next time you have a big meeting - with your biggest customer, With your biggest investor or with your bank - bring cake. Then let me know if I am right.